You might have heard that I’m intentionally preparing to get off of social media “for good,” or at least for now, on November 1st.

Part of this process includes deleting much of my presence, in particular on Instagram, as well as reducing the amount that I am sharing moving forward.

This process has brought about a grief ritual of sorts, in alignment with the seasonal shift here in the northern hemisphere.

Perhaps you are feeling autumn’s rhythms as well, in your own way?

I’ve found myself occasionally going back through old posts and pictures, clicking on the “memories” on Facebook, as I prepare to depart social media in a couple weeks.

Today I found this little gem tucked away in my Facebook memories, no doubt written from own of the coziest and introspective corners of quarantine in a basement apartment in Seattle in late 2020. It reads:

“Back in May (2020) I started teaching myself to play the guitar. I played daily the month of May, and then sporadically since, with not much time at all the past couple months. There is no beginning or end point for me on this journey, like many things in my life. And every time I remember to stop striving for perfection, I actually allow myself to have fun.”

Above is a picture of me from May of 2020, which is a screen shot from the cute lil video HERE, a few months into a global pandemic and several years into undiagnosed mold illness, isolated from most with little to no job security and much uncertainty about the future.

As I watch this video, I can quite literally witness the push-pull dance of striving-for-perfection and then remembering-to-just-be… a somewhat torturous tango for a Virgo rising like me.

Perhaps you, too, are familiar with this dance?

Check out the 2-minute mark on the video, where a bee dive bombs my face, reminding me to not take myself too seriously… and that is the moment everything shifted for me, at least for that day 🐝

I’ve got another guitar vid from May 2020 that I’m uploading, which I’ll share with ya later, where I carry this playful IDGAF (I don’t give a fuck) attitude throughout and it actually sounds downright delightful, or something close to it!

So often we are our own worst enemy and harshest critic. We show up front row cheering the loudest at the parade of our faults and imperfections, writing our own name in the last place ribbon from a race that we didn’t even sign up for.

5-years-ago-Ren showed up today, as we sit here in the midst of current day chaos and uncertainty not too unlike that of 2020, as I attempt to messily and without a script cut codependent ties with social media, to remind me (to remind us?) that:

“There is no beginning or end point for me on this journey, like many things in my life. And every time I remember to stop striving for perfection, I actually allow myself to have fun.”

So, I leave you with an invitation:

What might happen if you just kick back and enjoy whatever wild ride or uncharted path you might be on right now, without trying to direct or control, without knowing where it might lead?

Just so ya know, I usually send a test email to myself before sending it out to you, but in an attempt to embrace imperfection, I’m just gonna press “send” and let it be what it is 🎉

(It’s okay, Virgo… I’ve still got you. Always.)